“…I will cry to you when my heart is overwhelmed.”Psalm 61:2
Let’s be real for a moment;
I use to sing a song to Pre-K kids that says, “if all the raindrops were lemondrops and gumdrops oh what a rain that would be!”
My rain is, freezing and hailing right now. I am overwhelmed to the core. My heart can’t take much more on literally and figuratively.
This past week I have been in tachardia, I was admitted in the hospital for severe stomach pain, I am so tired…let’s talk tired for a minute….Tired for me is not as simple as taking a nap and feeling rested, ever! I wake up tired. I nap, and I am tired. I do nothing and I am tired. I am exhausted from the inside out. My insides are beating me from the inside out. I am mentally, physically, emotionally, exhausted. I am fighting a war that I may never win. I get small victories…the question now is,” are the small victories going to sustain me?”
I don’t know the answer to that right now. I feel like I am running on Empty.
It’s 4am. I have had a restless night. God can you hear me right Now! I need you! I need to be on higher ground.
Even if we don’t see it right away, there is always hope. Imagine all of the people in the world, right this minute, that are looking for a tiny glimmer of hope to get them through the next few minutes, the next hour, or the coming days.
When we lose hope, I have found it’s all too often because we have reached the point of helplessness. When we just don’t know what to do anymore. I have been there many times in my life. I have felt broken, my life has looked like a mess all too often but I have learned a valuable lesson through those times. My life and the situations in my life are never completely hopeless, unless I allow it to be.
Being sick often brings me to the point of helplessness and sometimes I even start to lose hope. However, I have learned that I am in control of how far I go with it because I am in control of my emotions. I may not be able to help my illness, or fix it my situation at times, but I can control my mind. I can control my emotions. I can stop the moment I feel all hope is gone and look again. It’s in these times I will find hope that I missed in the moment.
I have learned that hope doesn’t have to appear huge either.
We all want that big bright shiny light of hope and the answer to fix it all but what if the hope that we are searching for is being overlooked because we aren’t looking hard enough. What if it’s just that tiny speck of hope that gets us through to the next day? Lastly, what if that tiny speck of hope is meant to make us stronger?
A tiny glimmer is enough for me because even if I am feeling helpless, I know where my help comes from and that my friend is Jesus. With him by my side, there is always hope.
Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”
Sometimes trusting can be one of the most complicated things to do in life. Depending on your background you may find it a little easier than others but for most, I find there is always some sort of hesitation. Trusting requires not knowing all the answers. At times you may find yourself placing your faith in someone or something that you have no control of the outcome, and no guarentee.
I have lived and came through a difficult life, and trusting has been extremely difficult for me. Not just with people, but with God. Over the years as I have grown a little more, each time that I face another illness, or another trial, God proves that the more I learn to trust in him, the more I can count on him. I have learned that God is really all the guarentee that I have. Afterall, he is the maker and finisher of all things. Including me and my outcome. One of my favorite quotes says this, “Faith is not believing that God can, it is knowing that God will.” Ben Stein.
I love God with all of my heart and soul. Even if today is not written out before me, and nothing makes sense to me, I know that I don’t have be frightened because God has already promised that he’s got this for me.
Psalms 19: 7
“The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul.
What do you need this morning to get started? I think you need the infallible word of God. It is not only perfect but according to King David, it will revive the soul. Caffeine may wake you up but only God can revive you and sustain you for the entire day. Psalms 34: 8 says, “Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!”
Today, get a good taste of the goodness of God, it will change your life.
Everyone of us has a story to tell. I write this blog because I have my own story to tell and I always hope to inspire someone and to touch as many people as I can before my time on earth is done. When we share our stories and experiences we can strengthen each other and hopefully learn something from each other.
I am always trying to grow beyond what I am right now. So share your story here and in return I will be sure to post your story, only if you like. Leave a note saying share this.
I have written this kind of blog before but I thought I woukd revamp and reblog. I would like to get to know all of my readers, followers and I look forward to building relationships and a community of people that can encourage each other.
I have a lot of people that know who I am but they do not really know me. Just because they have heard my story, or went to church with me, just because they have acknowledged me in someway does not mean they really know me. It takes a great effort to get to know who I am. It takes a relationship of trust, communication, questions and answers, studying of what makes me who I am. It’s the same with God. You can’t just talk to God on Sunday for a few minutes and say you know him. It takes an understanding of his likes and dislikes. It takes a relationship of trust and intentional love on our part. God doesn’t expect perfection, he expects effort. He expects relationship.