What really constitutes being a Father?

I was born in the most obscure circumstances possible. My biological father was abusive in every way possible from the time I was just a toddler until I was nine-years-old. My parents divorced at that time and for a short time my three siblings and I  lived with my mother.
One day, without any forewarning  my siblings and I were taken away from our mother and placed in foster care. Although we were safe from physical abuse in our foster home, mental abuse was still the order. I learned at an early age how to look after myself and to protect my brother and two sisters. For the most part, I was the father and the mother to my siblings. Still, even in the midst of an abusive life, God still found a way into my life and he placed different people in my path even for short times.
Even though my life had been filled with abuse, neglect, and abandonment, God was still a part of my life. We were taken to church, we were taught about Jesus and I managed to find people that seemed to care about me and my siblings despite our plight in life. I knew who God was but I did not have a relationship
with Him. When people would say that God was my Father, I could not relate, every father I had known to this point was a bitter
I met my husband when I was just a eighteen. After a very short courtship we would become engaged and married just a short time
later. One of the defining factors of my relationship with my husband was that he went to church with his parents. I too wanted
to go to church and so I attended church with my husband and his parents.
One day a missionary came to our church and talked about Guatemala. I connected with the pictures of the starving dirty poor children and I wanted to go help. This mission trip would be a life changing experience for me.
At this time in my life I was twenty-nine years old, had two small children but I was still not over my past and the abuse that I had
suffered, but I was determined to keep moving, that was the only thing I knew, just keep putting one foot in front of the other.
On the mission trip I became acquainted with the Associate Pastor of the church.  Back home, at the church for an entire year he had been relentless to always go out of his way to speak to me and my husband and he would call us by name. However, I was not about to let anyone in my life, I had a hedge of protection around me, and I would not give him the time of day.
On the mission trip He spent time talking to me, encouraging me and even pushing me to become more connected and to break out of my shell.
When we came back home from the mission trip, I began to open up to the Associate Pastor. He proved to me to be trustworthy. He was patient, he taught me the word of God, he prayed for me over and over again. One day I realized, “maybe this is what a dad really is?”
I wish time would allow for me to tell of all that I have learned from this man, but one thing that stands above the rest is his unconditional love. No matter how stubborn I was, no matter how angry I was, he still loved and cared for me and kept leading me to Jesus.
We have built a trusting relationship for nine years and he has taught me everything a real father should have. This man is now my spiritual father, because of Him I can call God my Father for the first time and mean it because now I understand what a father really is.
I believe that spiritual fathers and spiritual mothers are essential in the church for repairing damage that has been done to young Christians. For me, it was the only tangible way to learn the basics of a relationship without expectations. Because of one person willing to take the time to step out in faith and keep trying even though it was difficult, I was able to know unconditional love and give my life willingly over to God. #unconditionallove #survivor #metoo

7 thoughts on “What really constitutes being a Father?

    1. Thankyou. I appreciate that. Believe it or not, that’s just the beginning, now I have Lupus and ten other autoimmune diseases.
      I just want others to know that just because something in life is bad it doesn’t mean that God can not or will not turn it into something great.
      God always has a plan.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Wow. Continue to tell your story! It will bring others to God!
        I believe …
        We “preach” the Gospel in an attempt to change minds. We LIVE the Gospel and change hearts. Your story will change hearts. You absolutely are living the Gospel. Thank you!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. For a long time I was ashamed of my story but God has made me realize I have nothing to be ashamed of and I can touch so many people from taking a leap of faith and sharing. I dream of telling the whole world my story, and that I can lead people out of darkness to the light to Christ despite their circumstances. Although I am very sick, I pray for God to make way for invitations to speak and share my story with churches in North Central Florida one day.


  1. This is a wonderful testimony for God. I’m so happy he has been working for you all your life. I’m glad this Christian man has helped you.

    Some of us have suffered a lot in this life. It was partly my great sorrow that made me go to God.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thankyou! That is very true that some of us have suffered more than our fair share in this life but at least the good news is that one day there will be no more suffering. 🙂
      I am so sorry you had to go through great sorrow but I am so so very happy that you found your way to God.

      Liked by 1 person

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