Author: livingfaithfullywithautoimmunedisease Author:Tabitha Hill

Heart Troubles.

 

I have heard this a lot lately, “I don’t understand why God allows such hard struggles to happen to good people.” Let me first say this, God doesn’t make bad things happen, this is not heaven, things in this world are not perfect and if you are a believer in Christ you will know that Satan is going to test your faith in God because he wants you to turn. He has no reason to test the faith of an unbeliever, he already has them where he wants them. 

 

 It was only last week that I found out that Lupus is beginning to affect my heart. I have had arrhythmias for a while now, and I have struggled through dizzy spells and chest pains for some time.  Last week when the new cardiologist did another EKG and it came back abnormal, reality struck. I don’t know, maybe I subconsciously hoped that all the others were wrong, but it was like a massive wave of reality hit me in the face and still I had some peace with it at the same time. He confirmed what I already knew, that Lupus was attacking any part of my body that was healthy.  I can’t say that it’s not overwhelming to face so many things at one time, I am human, and to be honest there are a lot of moments I wish it would all just magically go away but I have learned something through all of this.  Without the hard times, where is my strength going to come from? I have a choice to run and blame it all on God for not healing me right now or face the challenge head on. I choose to face whatever comes my way, head on, because I know who my hero is and who is going to win the challenges that I face.   I choose to run to God, because,” I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” 

 

I learned that verse the first time I went to Guatemala about 7 years ago. I climbed my first mountain, with swollen ankles and legs, in the dead heat. I couldn’t make it without a lot of struggle. I was unprepared physically and mentally for a mile hike in the dead heat on the side of a mountain. It took every bit of strength out of me to get to the top and then even more strength after a long day in the heat getting back.  I didn’t know then but my autoimmune conditions were kicking my butt.  I learned something that year though, anytime something went array or unplanned, and there was quite a bit, we prayed.  We prayed with everything we had anywhere we were, for little things like a lost bag, to big things for security in another country to let our group ahead of us in and God answered every time. You know why, He Had A PLAN and we were following his plan, we just had to ask for his will be done. He likes to talk to us!! I have learned over the years to trust in him in all things that I face. Life isn’t easy and you are not going to have anything handed over to you without work involved. God is the same way, there will be trials, and struggles and work. You will have to trust and have faith. But I promise you, God will see that you get to the other side. As for me on this journey that  I am on, it is just another mountain I have to climb, the only difference now is I well-equipped because I know who my strength comes from.

 

Listen, Obey, and Do.

For 3 years I have battled multiple autoimmune diseases. I had a DVT, a blood clot in a deep vein in my right thigh where since then it’s been discovered that I have Lupus, Raynauds, antiphospholipid syndrome, arthritis and the newest thing is fluid around my heart. I was admitted in the hospital where my entire life began to turn upside down and inside out.  They soon discovered that I have antiphospholipid syndrome and Lupus, a life long condition where my blood clots and I have to be on blood thinners for the rest of my life. During that time I lost my job where I was our main income. Satan didn’t stop there, I began bleeding internally, I had a massive hiatal hernia where most of my stomach was sitting up in my chest. It lead to stomach surgery, weight loss surgery to be exact, this would be the only way they could fix the hernia and bleeding. I have a had many complications,a lot are rare conditions, last year alone I had 3 surgeries and multiple procedures. My stomach had come apart, I had a twisted bowel, internal hernia and something called afferent loop syndrome. I was told only 1 and 4 % get this…yes I had to be one of those. After all I am one of a kind. 🙂  In November, I had emergency surgery, but soon after I was released, I had hemorrhage and was admitted again. Since I haven’t been able to eat without pain in my stomach and at times it’s excruciating. After much prayer, and God’s lead, we seeked out a specialist in Jacksonville at the Mayo clinic that might be able to help and God answered us with a yes and we left quite encouraged that God would use someone that might be able to help me.

We stopped at a thrift store on our trip, one of the staff followed us and stopped me by my car and  she asked, if we were traveling and when I said yes,” she asked if we were going to Mayo?” I then said, ” yes mam.” She asked why, I simply told her I had some health problems that we need specialists for, that I have some stomach problems.  Then she surprised me…she asked, ” if we could go back in and get a group together to pray for me.” I have been taught to never turn down prayer, you don’t know who has the gift of healing. As we walked back, I wondered what David was thinking. He must think this is crazy and I have lost my mind. She went to the back of the store and brought 5 or 6 people and they gathered around me and I felt the presence of God right there in the middle of a thrift store. As we stood there at the front door, one of the staff said, God can turn bad situations into good you know. I found it kind of funny that I had just wrote a blog that morning that said exactly that. I told him, yes I really do believe that. I felt that God was speaking through every single one of that staff right then.  The man asked God to encourage me to use my situation as a testimony and for me to be reminded that God does make bad things for his good, by the way Romans 8:28 says this:

28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose.

I told my husband that it felt as if I had angels standing around me, and God had lifted such a heavy burden off me that day, that I thought I had already given to God.  I don’t know if they felt odd at all praying for a complete stranger who was just looking for a dress and ended up with a photo of a lighthouse instead but God was definitely speaking through them. He prayed exactly the prayer that I needed. I don’t look sick..she had no idea, even the guy that sold the photo to me said, “I had no idea anything was wrong”, but God prompted that lady to ask and invite a complete stranger to pray and she obeyed. I want to follow that example. I want to be that kind of daugher for my Father, one that listens, obeys and does without questioning.