I am convinced, now more than ever, that my childhood prepared me for this battle of illnesses that, simply put, is trying to kill me physically as well as mentally. I have struggled with so many illnesses in the last three years, every time I go to the doctor it seems there is just more diagnosed illnesses on top of what I already have. It should be overwhelming for me and perhaps I should be sitting in a corner sucking my thumb, rocking back and forth, but I am actually at peace. I want to share how I am able to handle and process these things that have been happening to me.
We all have feelings and that’s a really good thing because that enables us to love others and respect each other but our feelings can also be a very damaging thing as well. For me my feelings either control my situation or I control my feelings and overcome my circumstances.
It is ok to feel worried or scared, but I have found that in order to control my feelings about bad news I have to consciously tell myself how long I am going to have negative feelings.
I literally have to stop and think about how I feel about each situation. I cannot group all of my issues together as one big problem, that would be too much, I have to look at things in a smaller scale. I choose not to worry. I choose to keep in mind the some of my situations are overwhelming, but I also search for the best outcome. I try and stay in control of my feelings.
I have had to face many circumstances that have been out of my control. I have had to accept that’s it is ok to feel down and confused at times but only for a short period. I have to be responsible to bring myself back out of negativity and control my feelings about the circumstance that come my way. It’s ok to not be ok, as long as I don’t stay there for long.
Listening is an important skill to have but a lot of people do not really know how to listen effectively. I have learned over the years that the most valuable thing that I can offer to anybody is to simply be a good listener. If you think about it, a truly best friend is a great listener. Most of the time people are looking for friends who will listen without judging.
When talking about my illness to people I have find that I have run across people that simply do not listen. Although it comes from the right intentions, people will try to relate to my illness with something that they have had before and often will hand out unwanted and bad advice when all I really need is for them to listen. We all have our own story, no one really knows how you and I feel, they can relate, but they do not know how we feel. We all handle our trials, troubles and illnesses differently, we are all unique, our internal make up is different, our feelings are our feelings. Try to never say, “I know how you feel.”
Here are some great ways to begin sharpening your skills on listening to others.
1. Allow others to say what they are going to say. Let them tell their story, an opportunity will come at some time in the relationship for you to tell your story in relation to their story.
2. Stay silent!
3. Bank information.
4. Be open and receptive. nod, smile, make occasional eye contact, act like you care.
5. Only give advice if the person asks for it and keep the advice short and to the point.
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It’s Thanksgiving and it’s a time to pause and give thanks for all the blessings in our lives. The end of the year should be filled with family, celebration and gratefulness. I believe it’s time to realize that every day we should be giving thanks!
For me every day is a day to be thankful because I am simply alive. Although there have been days lately that have been less than favorable for me, I can still say that the fact that I wake up every single day and take a breath is a true blessing.
For most of my life I was blinded to the simple blessings that God had given me. I grew up in a less than a stellar home and family life. I did not have a good family connection and I kept the rest of the world at bay. If God didn’t move in an earth shattering miracle, I could not see Him move at all. My perception was skewed waiting on the big wow moments.
If there is one thing I have learned is that God doesn’t always give me wow moments. Don’t get me wrong, I have had some big, “only God could have done that”, moments but now I’m thankful for the blessings of everyday life that get overlooked and that I have, for so long, taken for granted.
I am most thankful for the simplest, and the most overlooked blessings; being alive today. It may not be pain free, I have struggles with so much because of my illnesses, but God still has given me love, peace, mercy and my life.
Thank You Lord!
Psalms 103: 2-5
Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
What I’m I thankful for? I’m thankful that God has forgiven us, He heals our diseases and who picks us up when we are down and who lavishes us with love and mercy. Love and mercy are gifts we do not deserve, they are gifts freely given. If we have ever been at a place in our life where we felt like we were all alone and helpless, He was there to provide love and mercy. God is the one that makes us feel young and alive again. Thank God, He is always there to love us and forgive us and to sustain us.
What are you thankful for?
Today is day 7 of the #Thankfulness Challenge. While my health hasn’t been the best lately, and things on the surface may look scary and somewhat hopeless, I realize in my spirit there is always hope and my perspective on things can change my circumstances. So, I am challenging others and myself to look deeper and find an # Attitude of Gratitude this month.
Today I am thankful that,God leads my way, he is my light!