“When the Indian chief asked his warriors how do you dance and make it rain every time? They said,” we dance until it rains.”
“When you walk with God you have to believe, you have to stand in faith, you have to know that God’s going to fulfill.” J.Lee
Lately, there have been days that I can not get out of bed. My energy is low, my pain level is high and looking from the outside in, I am sure it looks like it is not going to get better for me any time soon.
Right now, I am in a flare. My connective tissues are on fire, and in pain, my joints ache, my gastroparesis is making my belly bloat and hard, I am having a hard time eating without pain, my glucose levels are the highest it’s ever been and it’s hard to control, and lastly, my kidneys are giving me problems because of my Lupus Nephritis.
I have reached a point in my chronic illness where my doctors do not know how to treat me anymore.
So, what’s a girl to do? Do I give up and throw in the towel? Nope!! God is my healer. I know the reality of my situation but I stand on my faith that one way or another, God will give me the quality of life back, God will heal me. Until then, I will dance in the rain.
Dance in the Rain.
sent up a prayer for you this evening Tabitha! I am so very sorry you are struggling with eating.
I am so very happy for you Tabitha! Having a plan brings so much comfort and ease………
Thank you so much! Today was extremely encouraging. We have a plan in place which is more than I have…
I am so very sorry for all that you are going through. I have prayed that your appt. goes…
Amen! God bless you
Because of my illnesses sometimes I find myself feeling like I am broken and useless. No wonder, everything in my life has been turned upside down and changed; now everything revolves around my illnesses. Things I once loved were gone in an instant and what’s left of the old me slowly gets stripped away each day.
I have no doubt that even if you are not sick, feeling broken or useless may apply to some others as well. It’s not supposed to be that way! However, we can grow tremendously through the changes that we are forced to go through. And we can rise above any obstacles as long we are in God’s hands.
I have walked through some of the darkest years of my life alone, so I thought. I have experienced broken-ness and I have been overwhelmed at times, afraid to move because if I dare, everything might collapse around me. I have feared to think the next thought, because I might not be able to hold it together. I have thought more times that I want to admit, that I just can’t make it through another day. And yet, I still hold it all together because I am strong, I am a child of God, because I have a purpose. I know that someone is reading this right now saying and I can identify with this heaviness.
Here’s the thing, no matter where I have been on my journey, I have learned that all of those feelings are temporary, even if they come back after a while, they still go away.
God has always sent help my way.
It may have been an encouraging word from a nurse, or something I read, or sending someone my way to bring a word of grace, but he has always provided what I needed when I needed it.
I just have to look for God, even in the smallest of things. He is always doing something.
God never leaves us even when the burden is way to heavy. Trust in this that he is with you, just as he has been with me.
David wrote in Psalms 23,” Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for you are with me.”
“I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well.”
As a child, I never understood the magnitude of having a godly mother or the blessing of a mother’s love. My relationship with my biological mother was nothing close to what you read in most Hallmark cards and the Foster mother that I had was not a great substitute mother either. What I missed as a child was troubling but Mother’s Day is so much more than celebrating your own biological mother. Mother’s Day is also about celebrating the women that have stepped in that motherly role, the ones that have lifted you up in prayer day after day, loved you, befriended you, and guided you, these are the women that I call spiritual mothers.
What is a Spiritual Mother?
A Spiritual Mother is a woman that lives her life for God and helps and guides you in your walk with God. Like a mentor, only with a mother’s heart. A spiritual mother nurtures, cares, provides and creates an environment that can be trusted in which you can feel safe to grow in. Spiritual Mothers share wisdom and can help with seeing things from a different perspective. A Spiritual Mother will love you despite your shortcomings but help you shine in your strengths. Spiritual Mothers will bless and encourage the call of God on your life. Spiritual moms most of the time are not chosen by you, instead, typically they find you. A real Spiritual mother can sense the void in your life, they watch you and pray for you long before they ever come into a close relationship with you. They will never be pushy, but gently they walk along with you and when the time is right they draw close. A Spiritual mother’s love can be felt in the way they communicate with you. Their demeanor is typically soft if you need soft and firm if you need firm. I believe God has a spiritual mother in the world for everyone whether you have had a great mother or not. The need for Spiritual mothers is great, everyone needs someone to help nurture in time of need.
My Spiritual Mother
I have a spiritual mother; her name is Crystal. I will never forget when I first became sick and was admitted to the hospital. She was always the first one there and the last one to come back. She took care of the little things and some big things. To say Crystal is just a mere mentor or Spiritual Mother doesn’t even give it justice. She is much more to me that she will ever know. She has been the mother that I never had, the kind of mother I needed so badly when I was younger. She has been the ear to listen, the one to check on me every single week, and she really cares for me. Through Crystal, I have truly had a taste of what a mother truly is and for that, I am so grateful. Crystal has been a grandmother to my kids and has given a lot of herself to me and my family. So right now, I want to take the time to honor my Spiritual Mother and say thank you to Crystal and we love you. Proverbs 31: 30-31 says;
“Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.”
I praise my Spiritual mother for her works of grace, mercy, and kindness and for taking me underneath her wings.
Being A Godly Mother
One of life’s greatest gifts you can give your children is to be a Godly mother. I will never forget holding my first baby girl just fifteen years ago. When I gave birth to my daughter, my love for her was instant and so great that I would lay my life down for her. I wanted a strong bond with her, and relationship where she knew she could come to me with anything in the world. Most of all I wanted her to know that she was a gift from God. Now, I have two beautiful children that I love so much. We say I love you every day, and we share hugs. We talk with each other, and I guide my children. I teach them the word of God. Proverbs 22: 6 ESV says;
“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
I believe that if I train my children to be model citizens, to be respectful, to know what manners are, to follow the ways of God, to live godly lives that not only will they live it out, according to Proverbs 22: 6, they will also teach their children the same values, morals and Christian characteristics.