I have walked through some of the darkest years of my life alone, so I thought. I have experienced broken-ness and I have been overwhelmed at times, afraid to move because if I dare, everything might collapse around me. I have feared to think the next thought, because I might not be able to hold it together. I have thought more times that I want to admit, that I just can’t make it through another day. And yet, I still hold it all together because I am strong, I am a child of God, because I have a purpose. I know that someone is reading this right now saying and I can identify with this heaviness.
Here’s the thing, no matter where I have been on my journey, I have learned that all of those feelings are temporary, even if they come back after a while, they still go away.
God has always sent help my way.
It may have been an encouraging word from a nurse, or something I read, or sending someone my way to bring a word of grace, but he has always provided what I needed when I needed it.
I just have to look for God, even in the smallest of things. He is always doing something.
God never leaves us even when the burden is way to heavy. Trust in this that he is with you, just as he has been with me.
David wrote in Psalms 23,” Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for you are with me.”
This song seemed appropriate for my mood today. Enjoy.
When you are suffering it’s easy to slip into a state of hopelessness.
I live with chronic illness, my major organs are being attacked one of them is my heart, that means unless God heals me, I am not going to get any better. That also means, each day I have to be at peace with where I am at today, at this very moment. You can be angry about the past or your present right now, that’s entirely up to you. I tend not to give the power back over to the people or my illness that have already ruined things once.
The way I see it is; that I can live life one of two ways;
One; I was born into an unfair world, I suffered and I didn’t deserve how I got treated. I get knocked down too much and I don’t think life is fair so I am not going to even try. Life just sucks…
Two; I can use my circumstances and become stronger because of them. Every time life knocks me down, I get back up again using it as a spring-board. I focus on the good things in life and enjoy every moment in life that I do have.
I choose to live my life exactly like the second choice. I have no time for negativity in my mind because my time is so precious and limited.
I refuse to allow myself to think about how unfair my illness is. I know the consequences in the end, but I do not dwell on them. I am making my life worthwhile anyway though, no matter the trials.
Make your life count for something no matter what is going on in your life. If you are sick, count your blessings still.
I would rather live out the rest of my days being grateful for all the things I do have, rather than be upset, live in regret, waste precious time, for the things I didn’t do or don’t have.
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How do I find the perfect church for me?
The millennial’s, for the most part, are looking for great music and a modern service. The older generation typically likes the traditional style of church services. It’s no wonder people have a challenging time finding a church that fits them, but many of the larger churches offer both styles of services at different times.
This is my best friend and her perspective. When you have chronic illness, it’s hard to keep friends close because you constantly have to cancel plans and she does get that from me. I have tried my best to educate everyone in my life what Lupus is. I believe that has helped my relationships.
the little sleep I have had, working over 12 hours a day, going out 10 days straight. I Love you Tabitha.
Living with many Autoimmune Diseases is difficult enough. I have to keep on living a life, being a mother and a wife. I have to deal with my pain and I have to keep a handle on my emotions.
Over the next few days I will share some of my closest family and friends writings on how my illness affects them. I asked each of them to write how my illness affects them. The first one will be from my Father, the second one will be from my 14 year old daughter and I will continue for a few days with a few more people.
The reason I am doing this is because I want to bring awareness that our families and friends are deeply affected.
When we are physically hurting, they are emotionally hurting for us. Sometimes it’s hard to express that you love someone when it hurts so bad.
See previous post for letters from other family.